Why am I single? Well, let me tell ya...

[raefinlay]

Single-for-life is an increasingly valid lifestyle choice. So why am I asked about my societally scorned single state on a regular basis? I suppose I should take it as a compliment. I should interpret it as you're-obviously-a-good-catch-so-why-hasn't-someone-snatched-you-up, blah, blah.

I handle it better these days. After years of arduous training in verbal self-defense on the subject, here are, in order, the top 5 answers to the question: Why aren't you married???

5. I'm a lesbian. (Untrue, but effective in Christian circles.)

4. I dunno. What do you think is wrong with me? (Yeah, that's right, moron. None of your subtexty, passive-aggressive crap.)

3. *shrug* I couldn't see myself having sex with just one person for the rest of my life. (Also astonishingly effective in Christian circles. Can you say, "dead silence?")

2. I didn't want to end up like...*pointed look*...a lot of married people I know.

1. Every time a guy proposes, I say "No."

*firm nod*

Yes, I just got asked again by a family friend. I used #4 on her and watched the desperate backpedaling with wicked delight.

ETA: I am NOT anti-marriage. Just...happy. :-)

Comments

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Excellent. I must remember these for my own nefarious purposes.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Please do. They're free of charge! ;-)

[safewrite.livejournal.com]

Another fatboy slim fan! yay!

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

darn tootin' straight.

And I'm have icon loff right now in regards to the porpoises.

[everyonesakitty.livejournal.com]

LOL that's the coolest user pic EVAH!

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

Ha! That's awesome.

[ccfinlay.livejournal.com]

So let me get this straight: you're a sex-crazed commitment-phobic lesbian who's unaware of your own issues and externalizes all of them onto your married friends.

Didn't we used to date?

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

BWAH!!!

*dies*

[kmkibble75.livejournal.com]

*takes notes*

I heart #4.

[kalquessa.livejournal.com]

I, on the other hand, am frequently called upon to defend the fact that I am married. This happens less now that I am 23 than it did back when I was 18, but I'm still occasionally interrogated about my decision to marry young and my decision to remain married up until this point, though clearly any marriage that started when the bride was 18 Cannot Possibly Be Healthy. Feh. I don't think my reply of "Well, I guess I'm just lucky it turned out so well despite the odds, ain't I?" soothes the indignation of many.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Very interesting. I think anything that makes someone come face to face with their own discontent is game for scrutiny.

And good for you. I like to hear about happy endings. :-)

[janeorben.livejournal.com]

Isn't it funny how much people talk about marriage in terms of "should"s? Not just in regards to other people, but in regards to themselves. As if two people being so amazingly in love and emotionally stable that they want to and are capable of becoming life-partners (read: be willing to compromise on every major life decision they will make for the rest of their lives) was something that should or could be successfully planned out. Yeah right! Marriage works when it happens naturally.

You are one of the rare people who have a healthy outlook on the matter; you're actually paying attention to the reality of your own blissful situation, and enjoying it. Bravo.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Yeah right! Marriage works when it happens naturally.

Amen, sistah. I knew gals in college who had their weddings planned looong before they met the proverbial One. *shudders*

[darthbeckman.livejournal.com]

Why aren't you married?! I'll tell you why: you haven't met me yet! Allow me to express my feelings (http://adorablepicard.ytmnd.com/) for you.

[jmeadows.livejournal.com]

That's... distressingly cute.

(although the pictures and the song aren't quite synchronized, alas)

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Oh, Picard! How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

*swoons*

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

Those are great! Have I told you lately how funny you are? Single-for-life is a perfectly valid choice. careswen and I get it about children. We don't have any of our own (I have two from a previous marriage) and we don't ever plan to have any. This seems to disturb people for some reason.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

careswen and I get it about children...

*nodnod* My parents were the worst for a while. I would say I wasn't sure I wanted kids. To which they would say, "Huh??" But once my younger siblings gave them grandchildren, they backed off.

[pjthompson]

I love all those answers. And the questions never stop, so it's always good to have your A material ready. ;-)

Whatever you do or don't do that is outside the current fashion is going to getting people asking. Folks want to believe that their personal life choices are the only valid ones. I remember telling one woman who asked why I didn't have children that I'd made the choice not to. She patted my arm and said, "It's very brave of you to think that way."

WTF?

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Wow. Just...wow.

[dragonmyst.livejournal.com]

Honestly it's no one's buisness why you sre single. If you are happy why should anyone care? Kudos to you for being happy.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Thx, Ester. ;-)

[navicat.livejournal.com]

*LOL* I love those reasons.

And the people who really care about you just want you to be happy. So you can ignore everyone else! :D

I've also endured the opposite. People kept asking if my boy and I were ultra-religious because we got married at 21. It used to make me angry that apparently we hadn't made a valid life choice. There MUST be something wrong with us! Afterall, at our age we should be sleeping with AS MANY people as possible!

How could we know if we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. Oh, hmmm, maybe cuz we've known each other since we were 7 and YEAH that's long enough!

*deep breath*

Happiness is the most important thing, and we shouldn't let other dictate it to us!

[iagor.livejournal.com]

Nice reasons :)

[cricketshay.livejournal.com]

Rae, I have had something similar happen to me, but about children. I've had well meaning strangers and friends ask me about my offspring. I've heard questions like "Are these allll your children?" to which I responded, "No only one is. I stole the rest."

Also, there is "Don't you have cable?" or the ever popular "You do know what causes that don't you?" Last, but not least, "Why do you have so many children?" To which I replied, "I really like to fuck."

*hugs* Enjoy your singledom. I am.(even though I complain about not being in love, I like having the bed to myself and not having to share my ice cream or remote.

[janeorben.livejournal.com]

One of the ladies in my writers' group has 7 kids, and I can tell by the way she talks about it that she's gotten shit from people about it.

Man, it's like unless you marry someone healthy, employed, and of the opposite sex at around the age of about 24 and pop out no less than 1 and no more than 3 kids in a timely manner, society is gonna give you shit.

With those expectations, no wonder so many people in our society are screwed up.

[aaron-mag.livejournal.com]

Heh heh...

What Cynthia and I cannot stand is the ones who seem blissfully married. Claim they never fight. Always hold hands in public. Always say, "I love you" when they hang up the phone. Can't stand to be separated from each other, even for one night. She'll usually catch my eye and secretly give me the 'these people make me want to gag' face.

We like people more like ourselves, who basically say, "It ain't perfect, but it works and we're happy (whether married, single, gay, whatever). We like the realistic attitude with a heaping dose of humor and fun. You know...lively conversation and not trying to 'keep up appearances.'

The funny thing is we've found that most people who are googly eyed over each other usually are over-compensating for something else. Couples who seriously made you wonder, "Is something wrong in OUR lives? Look at them. They are still all over each other, like they just started dating, while we've moved on to telling funny stories about each others eccentricities..."

are now getting divorces. I don't think marriage is supposed to be like a romance in a movie...more like those in a sitcom.

:)

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

don't think marriage is supposed to be like a romance in a movie...more like those in a sitcom.

Hah! You got that right. Well, in a romance movie, you never see them paying bills together and raising kids.

[frigg.livejournal.com]

Be happy!

I'd like to say that you shouldn't give a hoot about what people think, but it's difficult when they insist on constantly voicing their opinion straight in your face. Glad to see that you have an arsenal of retorts. *grin*

[ginny-t.livejournal.com]

Awesome. Excellent use of humour in the face of their bullying.