Why am I single? Well, let me tell ya...

[raefinlay]

Single-for-life is an increasingly valid lifestyle choice. So why am I asked about my societally scorned single state on a regular basis? I suppose I should take it as a compliment. I should interpret it as you're-obviously-a-good-catch-so-why-hasn't-someone-snatched-you-up, blah, blah.

I handle it better these days. After years of arduous training in verbal self-defense on the subject, here are, in order, the top 5 answers to the question: Why aren't you married???

5. I'm a lesbian. (Untrue, but effective in Christian circles.)

4. I dunno. What do you think is wrong with me? (Yeah, that's right, moron. None of your subtexty, passive-aggressive crap.)

3. *shrug* I couldn't see myself having sex with just one person for the rest of my life. (Also astonishingly effective in Christian circles. Can you say, "dead silence?")

2. I didn't want to end up like...*pointed look*...a lot of married people I know.

1. Every time a guy proposes, I say "No."

*firm nod*

Yes, I just got asked again by a family friend. I used #4 on her and watched the desperate backpedaling with wicked delight.

ETA: I am NOT anti-marriage. Just...happy. :-)

Comments

[darthbeckman.livejournal.com]

Why aren't you married?! I'll tell you why: you haven't met me yet! Allow me to express my feelings (http://adorablepicard.ytmnd.com/) for you.

[jmeadows.livejournal.com]

That's... distressingly cute.

(although the pictures and the song aren't quite synchronized, alas)

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Oh, Picard! How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

*swoons*

[darthbeckman.livejournal.com]

Everything Patrick Stewart does is pure gold. He's carrying American Dad.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

So I've heard.

And IMHO, he had to be twice as good to compensate for Jonathan Frakes in NG.

[pjthompson]

Oh, sistah, ain't *that* so.

[merebrillante.livejournal.com]

I'm right behind everyone else on making your own choices, but I have to say ... this is disturbing.

But then, I'm in love with a cartoon character, so who am I to talk?