Why am I single? Well, let me tell ya...

[raefinlay]

Single-for-life is an increasingly valid lifestyle choice. So why am I asked about my societally scorned single state on a regular basis? I suppose I should take it as a compliment. I should interpret it as you're-obviously-a-good-catch-so-why-hasn't-someone-snatched-you-up, blah, blah.

I handle it better these days. After years of arduous training in verbal self-defense on the subject, here are, in order, the top 5 answers to the question: Why aren't you married???

5. I'm a lesbian. (Untrue, but effective in Christian circles.)

4. I dunno. What do you think is wrong with me? (Yeah, that's right, moron. None of your subtexty, passive-aggressive crap.)

3. *shrug* I couldn't see myself having sex with just one person for the rest of my life. (Also astonishingly effective in Christian circles. Can you say, "dead silence?")

2. I didn't want to end up like...*pointed look*...a lot of married people I know.

1. Every time a guy proposes, I say "No."

*firm nod*

Yes, I just got asked again by a family friend. I used #4 on her and watched the desperate backpedaling with wicked delight.

ETA: I am NOT anti-marriage. Just...happy. :-)

Comments

[the-s-guy.livejournal.com]

Excellent. I must remember these for my own nefarious purposes.

[safewrite.livejournal.com]

Another fatboy slim fan! yay!

[buymeaclue.livejournal.com]

Ha! That's awesome.

[ccfinlay.livejournal.com]

So let me get this straight: you're a sex-crazed commitment-phobic lesbian who's unaware of your own issues and externalizes all of them onto your married friends.

Didn't we used to date?

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

BWAH!!!

*dies*

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

darn tootin' straight.

And I'm have icon loff right now in regards to the porpoises.

[kmkibble75.livejournal.com]

*takes notes*

I heart #4.

[everyonesakitty.livejournal.com]

LOL that's the coolest user pic EVAH!

[kalquessa.livejournal.com]

I, on the other hand, am frequently called upon to defend the fact that I am married. This happens less now that I am 23 than it did back when I was 18, but I'm still occasionally interrogated about my decision to marry young and my decision to remain married up until this point, though clearly any marriage that started when the bride was 18 Cannot Possibly Be Healthy. Feh. I don't think my reply of "Well, I guess I'm just lucky it turned out so well despite the odds, ain't I?" soothes the indignation of many.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Very interesting. I think anything that makes someone come face to face with their own discontent is game for scrutiny.

And good for you. I like to hear about happy endings. :-)

[janeorben.livejournal.com]

Isn't it funny how much people talk about marriage in terms of "should"s? Not just in regards to other people, but in regards to themselves. As if two people being so amazingly in love and emotionally stable that they want to and are capable of becoming life-partners (read: be willing to compromise on every major life decision they will make for the rest of their lives) was something that should or could be successfully planned out. Yeah right! Marriage works when it happens naturally.

You are one of the rare people who have a healthy outlook on the matter; you're actually paying attention to the reality of your own blissful situation, and enjoying it. Bravo.

[darthbeckman.livejournal.com]

Why aren't you married?! I'll tell you why: you haven't met me yet! Allow me to express my feelings (http://adorablepicard.ytmnd.com/) for you.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Yeah right! Marriage works when it happens naturally.

Amen, sistah. I knew gals in college who had their weddings planned looong before they met the proverbial One. *shudders*

[jmeadows.livejournal.com]

That's... distressingly cute.

(although the pictures and the song aren't quite synchronized, alas)

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Oh, Picard! How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

*swoons*

[safewrite.livejournal.com]

steal them! steal them!

[darthbeckman.livejournal.com]

Everything Patrick Stewart does is pure gold. He's carrying American Dad.

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

Those are great! Have I told you lately how funny you are? Single-for-life is a perfectly valid choice. careswen and I get it about children. We don't have any of our own (I have two from a previous marriage) and we don't ever plan to have any. This seems to disturb people for some reason.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

So I've heard.

And IMHO, he had to be twice as good to compensate for Jonathan Frakes in NG.

[kalquessa.livejournal.com]

I think anything that makes someone come face to face with their own discontent is game for scrutiny.

A keen insight, and I would have to agree that this is quite likely the case.

[pjthompson]

Oh, sistah, ain't *that* so.

[pjthompson]

I love all those answers. And the questions never stop, so it's always good to have your A material ready. ;-)

Whatever you do or don't do that is outside the current fashion is going to getting people asking. Folks want to believe that their personal life choices are the only valid ones. I remember telling one woman who asked why I didn't have children that I'd made the choice not to. She patted my arm and said, "It's very brave of you to think that way."

WTF?

[dragonmyst.livejournal.com]

Honestly it's no one's buisness why you sre single. If you are happy why should anyone care? Kudos to you for being happy.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

careswen and I get it about children...

*nodnod* My parents were the worst for a while. I would say I wasn't sure I wanted kids. To which they would say, "Huh??" But once my younger siblings gave them grandchildren, they backed off.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Wow. Just...wow.