raefinlay: (Darth Daddy)
[personal profile] raefinlay
It was a dry and stormless day. Our Heroine, being possessed of uncanny powers of perception, became aware of a growing menace to her peaceful abode. A preponderance of thick, sticky, shapeless webs alerted her to the possibility of lurking Black Widows. Our Heroine, being moral and upright in nature (and a teensy-weensy bit arachnophobic) felt it her duty to rid the world of these wicked creatures, though it cost her her very life.



Black Widow spiders are creatures of the night, so while the sun was yet high, she embarked bravely on a reconnaissance mission to seek out their lairs and plan strategy. Thorough and painstaking investigation produced no less than 20 possible strongholds.

Our Heroine returned to home base to contemplate the meaning of life and to find RAID, dishgloves, a flashlight, and anything else that might aid her in the upcoming battle.

She waited for nightfall.

Under cover of darkness, Our Heroine crept from the sweet safety of hearth and home, armed only with Butler the Fuzzy Sidekick, her sense of honor, and kitchen-improvised plastic explosives.

She approached the first stronghold with a sense of foreboding. She swallowed her fear, and with inhuman speed, swept the flashlight around the oven in a flanking maneuver. Before the Evil One could react, Our Heroine pinned her to the wall with a hurricane blast of RAID.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Jodi-Spider waved her shining legs at Our Heroine in a gesture that could only be interpreted as the arachnid equivalent of The Finger. But such posturing was in vain, for a second spray of RAID sent her into the shuddering throes of death.

Emboldened by her victory, Our Heroine canvassed the perimeter of her territory with her RAID can and her flashlight and her little bombs. She killed no fewer than FIFTEEN Black Widow spiders.

But our story is far from over. A single spider--a trickier, larger, deadlier creature--escaped Our Heroine's wrath. You see, gentle reader, Holly-Spider built her web beneath an enormous wasps' nest, securing temporary immunity.

Our Heroine will have to rise to new heights of cleverness and bravery to combat this threat to humanity.

Date: 2005-08-28 04:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] navicat.livejournal.com
You are so cool *gushes*

Date: 2005-08-28 04:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raecarson.livejournal.com
JoJo! Whasssup?

Date: 2005-08-28 04:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stillsostrange.livejournal.com
I love how you name spiders after people and then douse them with Raid.

I prefer Lysol with bleach spray cleaner, myself. Kills bugs just as dead and the fumes don't make me sick like Raid does.

Date: 2005-08-28 04:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raecarson.livejournal.com
Just to be fair, I should probably name the next one Rae-Spider.

Lysol with bleach, huh? I'll sooo try that.

Date: 2005-08-28 03:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jmeadows.livejournal.com
Yeah, I'm trying to figure that one. I was laughing until I noticed Jodi-Spider and Holly-Spider. ;)

Date: 2005-08-28 04:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stillnotbored.livejournal.com
The only spider I'm afraid of is the black widow. I hated them when I was in California because they showed up everywhere. Other spiders are no big deal. Those suckers? Dude, there is not enough Raid in the world as far as I'm concerned.

Date: 2005-08-28 05:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raecarson.livejournal.com
Amen. I have a serious case of creeps right now.

*has movie marathon all night to keep mind off of BW's*

Date: 2005-08-28 04:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] everyonesakitty.livejournal.com
Oh
My
God

Dude, I'm so afraid for you. I'm shaking. O.O You be careful!!! Maybe you should come stay with me until summer's over.

O.O

Date: 2005-08-28 05:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raecarson.livejournal.com
I'm not worried about me; I'd just get a bad tummy-ache. But I am worried about the kitties. And my baby cousin, Trinity.

Butler got bit once. He was at the vet's for three days and wouldn't eat until I came and fed him myself.

Date: 2005-08-28 11:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] navicat.livejournal.com
Oh NO! Poor kitty!!

Date: 2005-08-28 10:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ginny-t.livejournal.com
*shudder* Ugh. You're a much braver woman than I am!

Date: 2005-08-28 01:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magicnoire.livejournal.com
Oh God! She spun her web underneath a wasps' nest?!? *screams*

(I hate stinging insects. They like to maul me.)

Date: 2005-08-28 06:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raecarson.livejournal.com
Doode. WalMart has the best wasp spray EVAH. I took out 6 nests last night. (Used the whole can.) It was a beautiful thing.

Date: 2005-08-28 03:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jmeadows.livejournal.com
Eee, you are very brave, RaeRae. *hugs*

Date: 2005-08-28 06:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raecarson.livejournal.com
*hugs* Where AAARRE you? *misses like crazy*

Date: 2005-08-28 04:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cathemery.livejournal.com
Yikes! Sounds like you need a brave cohort to hold the light while some double-handed spraying goes on---- good luck!

Date: 2005-08-28 05:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] the-numinous-1.livejournal.com
I'm going to have to write a special black-widow "machine" into my upcoming novella. Thanks for the inspiration - and the willies!

Date: 2005-08-28 06:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raecarson.livejournal.com
Ooo, I'll definitely want to read that one.

Date: 2005-08-28 05:28 pm (UTC)
pjthompson: (Default)
From: [personal profile] pjthompson
Black widows. Ugh. G'luck!

Date: 2005-08-28 05:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kmkibble75.livejournal.com
*shudder*

No fun about that...

Usually I'm stuck using the Sneaker of Doom, though I have yet to face anything as formidable as a black widow.

Date: 2005-08-29 02:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kaprou.livejournal.com
Go you! Maybe you should name your raid can "Sting".

Date: 2005-08-29 05:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kalquessa.livejournal.com
Verily, with the smitings!

no black widows here

Date: 2005-08-30 03:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] renakuzar.livejournal.com
as our spiders tend to be harmless we capture them in cups and set them free upon the shrubs. The girls, however, will shriek in horror at any spider larger than a half centimeter including legs. The small ones, though, have to face squeals of "baby spider - how cuuuute!"

Page generated Apr. 27th, 2026 10:46 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios