Since everyone is doing it...
Aug. 16th, 2005 11:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
raefinlayI had thought "The Truth of Her Beauty" was the second short story I ever wrote. (The first was a Three Investigators rip-off in the 2nd grade.) I was wrong. In my quest to jump on the Early Effort Bandwagon, I found a dusty, yellowed file containing "The Threat of Gravy." I wrote it in the 7th grade.
The assignment was to take something from pop culture and rewrite it using turkeys.
(all typos preserved)
Prolouge
Turkitron was a turkey-made, turkey-shaped planet orbiting a blood red sun in the Turkey Way. On this planet, there dwelt two kinds of Turkies. The Gobblebots, with their leader, Turkimus Prime, and the Deturkticons, with their leader, Megacluck. All the turkies are involved in a never-ending battle for priority on Turkitron.
Before this story is read, the reader must know that both parties have been working on secret weapons. The Deturkticons are ready to launch their new weapon, yet the Gobblebots' weapon remains untested. How will they face this evil, new menace? Will they take a chance on releasing their untested weapon? Here is a small account of the exciting battle known as the Gravy/Cream War.
The Threat of Gravy
"Help!" cried a voice.
Turkimus Prime recognized it as that of his girlfriend, Turkcee. He didn't know what to do. All around him, his fellow Gobblebots were in combat with the Evil Deturkticons, and some were in terrible predicaments. No time to think, he must save Turkcee.
Prime launched himself over to where Turkcee was bravely battling Starmeat, Megacluck's second-in-command. She was losing ground rapidly.
"You good-for-nothing, gobbling, *#@%!" he cried as he transformed into an oven, stashing Starmeat inside. After a fierce struggle, Starmeat managed to escape, but he was cooked enough to learn his lesson.
"Gaddangit," said Prime. "I didn't have enough time to Preheat!"
Oh well. At least Turkcee was safe; for the moment for suddenly, out of nowhere, six new Deturkticons that he had never seen before began to turn the tide of events in favor of the Deturkticons.
After about an hour of desperate fighting, luck was again in favor of the Gobblebots. The new Deturkticons seemed to have a predictable pattern of attacking. Prime, however, did not trust their patterns and his premonition was proved correct when a loud cry suddenly rang up.
"Concluckticons!" someone cried. "Transform and merge into Gravystator!"
Suddenly, instead of six strange turkies, there stood one giant, mean-looking turkey with flaming read eyes, flaring nostrils and a huge, sharp, orange beak that he kept opening and closing.
Gravystator immediately began to devastate the Gobblebots. Discarding their lifeless, metal corpses here and there like junk parts, his eyes showed the madness that must have possessed him.
Steelback, a faithful Gobblebot, frantically pulled Turkimus Prime aside. Wires dangling from his feathers and a dent in his left wing plainly showed that he'd been through the works.
He uttered four words: "We must get Cream!" and then he fainted.
Of course! How could he have been so stupid!
Prime turned his back on the battle and faced the giant Gobblebot Baking Factory.
"Gobblebots!" he yelled as loud as he could. "Transform and cook-out!"
Hearing the password the baking factory gave a mechanical convulsion and began to transform slowly. Soon it had become a giant turkey; even bigger than Gravystator.
"Who challenges O'Feathers 'N Cream?" the giant robot asked in a loud, deep voice. Turkimus promptly pointed to Gravystator and soon, there wasn't any Gravystator left.
The Deturkticons retreated. From that day on, the Deturkticons ceased the manufacturing of Turkies and made humanoid robots instead because they fought better. The Gobblebots did so also. They are now Autobots and Decepticons. Although they fight better, Turkimus Prime and Steelbeak are forever remembered as the brave Gobblebots who saved the day and decided the fate of the Universe.
The Beginning
Sooo...did you recognize the pop culture element? You did?? You're SUCH A NERD.
The assignment was to take something from pop culture and rewrite it using turkeys.
(all typos preserved)
Prolouge
Turkitron was a turkey-made, turkey-shaped planet orbiting a blood red sun in the Turkey Way. On this planet, there dwelt two kinds of Turkies. The Gobblebots, with their leader, Turkimus Prime, and the Deturkticons, with their leader, Megacluck. All the turkies are involved in a never-ending battle for priority on Turkitron.
Before this story is read, the reader must know that both parties have been working on secret weapons. The Deturkticons are ready to launch their new weapon, yet the Gobblebots' weapon remains untested. How will they face this evil, new menace? Will they take a chance on releasing their untested weapon? Here is a small account of the exciting battle known as the Gravy/Cream War.
The Threat of Gravy
"Help!" cried a voice.
Turkimus Prime recognized it as that of his girlfriend, Turkcee. He didn't know what to do. All around him, his fellow Gobblebots were in combat with the Evil Deturkticons, and some were in terrible predicaments. No time to think, he must save Turkcee.
Prime launched himself over to where Turkcee was bravely battling Starmeat, Megacluck's second-in-command. She was losing ground rapidly.
"You good-for-nothing, gobbling, *#@%!" he cried as he transformed into an oven, stashing Starmeat inside. After a fierce struggle, Starmeat managed to escape, but he was cooked enough to learn his lesson.
"Gaddangit," said Prime. "I didn't have enough time to Preheat!"
Oh well. At least Turkcee was safe; for the moment for suddenly, out of nowhere, six new Deturkticons that he had never seen before began to turn the tide of events in favor of the Deturkticons.
After about an hour of desperate fighting, luck was again in favor of the Gobblebots. The new Deturkticons seemed to have a predictable pattern of attacking. Prime, however, did not trust their patterns and his premonition was proved correct when a loud cry suddenly rang up.
"Concluckticons!" someone cried. "Transform and merge into Gravystator!"
Suddenly, instead of six strange turkies, there stood one giant, mean-looking turkey with flaming read eyes, flaring nostrils and a huge, sharp, orange beak that he kept opening and closing.
Gravystator immediately began to devastate the Gobblebots. Discarding their lifeless, metal corpses here and there like junk parts, his eyes showed the madness that must have possessed him.
Steelback, a faithful Gobblebot, frantically pulled Turkimus Prime aside. Wires dangling from his feathers and a dent in his left wing plainly showed that he'd been through the works.
He uttered four words: "We must get Cream!" and then he fainted.
Of course! How could he have been so stupid!
Prime turned his back on the battle and faced the giant Gobblebot Baking Factory.
"Gobblebots!" he yelled as loud as he could. "Transform and cook-out!"
Hearing the password the baking factory gave a mechanical convulsion and began to transform slowly. Soon it had become a giant turkey; even bigger than Gravystator.
"Who challenges O'Feathers 'N Cream?" the giant robot asked in a loud, deep voice. Turkimus promptly pointed to Gravystator and soon, there wasn't any Gravystator left.
The Deturkticons retreated. From that day on, the Deturkticons ceased the manufacturing of Turkies and made humanoid robots instead because they fought better. The Gobblebots did so also. They are now Autobots and Decepticons. Although they fight better, Turkimus Prime and Steelbeak are forever remembered as the brave Gobblebots who saved the day and decided the fate of the Universe.
The Beginning
Sooo...did you recognize the pop culture element? You did?? You're SUCH A NERD.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 07:00 am (UTC)Thanks for sharing.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 02:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 03:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 02:36 pm (UTC)Dude. You must have been a teenage boy's dream. A girl they could actually discuss transformer's and robotech with! Most girls would just shake their collective heads in shame and start to ridicule you if they caught boys talking about such things.
You, on the other hand, would actually know the names Optimus Prime, Ironside, Starscream, etc.
BTW...I had thought that gobblebots, at first, was the pop culture element for go-bots...
-Later
no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 03:18 pm (UTC)EEEEEE!
Date: 2005-08-17 03:20 pm (UTC)*dies*
*pops back up to laugh some more*
*has Transformers theme song stuck in head all day*
*wanders away to dig out the Transformers soundtrack out of CD collection*
~Rabia
no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 03:26 pm (UTC)That was great. All the names sounded familiar, but I didn't *get* it until Aaron said Transformers. I bet Jeff would have got it, too. He liked Transformers. (still does. *snickers*)
no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 08:52 pm (UTC)You're not suppose to tell people that. You're not supposed to tell them that we still have Optimus Prime hidden away in our closet!!
*checks closet to make sure wife hasn't thrown it away*
Whew!
:D
Actually never had any of the toys darn it all. I was 'too old' for them by the time they came around. But I was a 'good' big brother and was willing to play them with my brother. Honestly. I did it all for altruistic reasons...
:P
no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 09:17 pm (UTC)And you are a nice older brother for humoring your younger brother :P
no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 09:32 pm (UTC)As long as you ignored the
Him: "Hey. I want to play with Jazz. I got it for my birthday."
Me: "No you don't. It isn't as cool as this Starscream. Who cares if the wings have fallen off, he is still cool."
Him: Mom!!!!
Me: Okay, okay. Play with your stupid birthday present. See if I care.
:P
no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 05:06 pm (UTC)Am not!
Okay, so maybe I am.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 05:14 pm (UTC)No, I am such a thirty-something. Any kid who watched any TV after school or while home sick would know you were taking about the Transformers!
This is not to say I'm not a nerd. 'Cause I admit to "geek" status, at least. But I was never into the Transformers at all. Never watched an episode, never played with one of the toys. But the commercials were ubiquitous.
And in case you're wondering, I never watched the Transformers because I thought they were a cheap rip-off of Voltron. Which was itself a cheap rip-off of Battle of the Planets. Which was soooo much cooler in the original Japanese. And yes, I was madly in love with Jason, though who could resist Kasey Kasem's voice as Mark?
There, my nerd cred is unsullied.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 05:18 pm (UTC)*nostalgic sigh*
no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 08:55 pm (UTC)Now Robotech. There was some good mecha stuff for you.
*is super nerd*
no subject
Date: 2005-08-18 12:20 am (UTC)*goes off to hide in nerd corner*
no subject
Date: 2005-08-18 04:50 am (UTC)"Oh look! Evil Baddie Robot (EBR) is attacking the planet. Let's hop in our lions and go take it out!"
They hop into lions. Then:
"Hmm, that didn't work. Let's form VOLTRON! And *then* take EBR out! Form arms and legs! Form torso! And I'll form the head!"
EBR waits patiently while they do this. They spar. Then:
Leader: "I know! Let's form..... Blazing Sword!" The others: "Ooooh! Your grasp of strategy is magnificent, O Leader!"
They form Blazing Sword. EBR stands still while he gets cut. He explodes.
Next episode: Let's do it again!
~Rabia
no subject
Date: 2005-08-18 08:16 am (UTC)I used to in enjoy it, back in primary school. Didn't really notice the formula, I justed liked the lions :D
no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 05:22 pm (UTC)"Who challenges O'Feathers 'N Cream?"
And yep, I'm a NERD.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 07:40 pm (UTC)My.
God.
That was the most amazing thing ever... How did the teacher react to that?
But you know, I always pictured Turkcee more with Ultra Magsauce, though. Not sure why.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 08:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 09:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-17 09:27 pm (UTC)And the teacher made me read it aloud.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-18 12:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-18 04:44 am (UTC)You could cut the romantic tension with a knife.
Lots of heavy breathing there.
Though.... do robots *breathe*?
*goes away shaking head at the lack of logical consistency in the movie*
~Rabia (Yes, I remember the movie way too well, why d'you ask?)
no subject
Date: 2005-08-18 12:53 pm (UTC)What can we say? You've got the Touch.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-18 02:49 pm (UTC)*And* I've got the power. ;)
~Rabia
no subject
Date: 2005-08-18 12:20 am (UTC)