Mission Michael Landon

[raefinlay]

For Christmas, The Hannah-girl will receive Season 1 of Little House on the Prairie on DVD. I'm so excited to give it to her.

But this means I must face the Bastion of Pure Evil (aka WalMart).

I despise the BoPE with the fire of ten thousand suns. My last mission (Mission Dog Food) did not exactly go according to plan, and I was in that horrifying place for FORTY minutes. For this mission however, I am planning for contingencies. Here is my strategy:

1. Arrive when the BoPE opens.
2. Wear a Very Tight Top, in case I need to ask to get in front of someone.
3. Contort face into the Look of Doom to flash upon small, loud, rambunctious, and ultimately unexpecting animals children.
4. Use long-unused football moves to juke, spin, or plunge through unwary cult members shoppers.

*deep breath* I can do this. For The Hannah, I can do this.

Comments

[stillsostrange.livejournal.com]

Armor. A broadsword. Holy water.

God be with you.

[jmeadows.livejournal.com]

You're so brave.

That's how I'm going to remember you. Brave, deticated... *heavy sigh* I'll miss you.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

*writes last will and testament*
*bequeaths toe-socks to Jodi*

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

*makes sign of cross*

Hey, if I don't... you know... come back... would you take care of Butler for me?

[aaron-mag.livejournal.com]

Little House on the Prairie? Hannah likes those? How does she know about them?

I'll admit that I used to watch them when I was a kid. Yep...I cried at some of the episodes *tears fill eyes*

I'd skip the tight top if I were you and wear a sweater. Yes it might help with the front desk people, but lets face it. You get cold sitting too close to the doors of a restaurant. You'll freeze to death in the parking lot with your tight top plan...

Poor Hanna will mourn.

:(

[dark-geisha.livejournal.com]

I'd send you a few drops of my perfume oil, Siren. I tested it out yesterday and went to the wireless store to get a new cell phone. All four salesmen were rushing to help me. And technically, all four of them did. LOL

[aaron-mag.livejournal.com]

Dude...with that kind of power you could rule the world.

Keep it secret keep it safe! Are we going to have to go on a quest to flush your secret elixer down a toilet in paradise for the safety of mankind?

(IE are we all going to use the destruction of your elixer as an excuse to go to the writing workshop in Maui? ;) )

*lauging*

[britzkrieg.livejournal.com]

I think I'm coming in late to this conversation. Did you make it? Did you survive? Send up a flare!

And LOL! Great post. XD

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Well, I took your advice. I wore a Very Tight Sweater.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Ooo, Siren! Niiiice.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Back safe! Missing a few fingers, but mostly intact.

[aaron-mag.livejournal.com]

Hopefully the middle ones so you can't flip off the computer the next time we get into a political debate.

:P

[aaron-mag.livejournal.com]

That isn't taking my advice. That is finding the middle ground and compromising...

:D

[dark-geisha.livejournal.com]

Hahaha! You fool! Rae and I are a team -- her with her very tight sweater, me with my PLETHORA of Seekrit Elixirs of Doom^TM. I have a voodoo blend called High John the Conqueror! No one stands a chance against the New World Order! XD

[dark-geisha.livejournal.com]

Maui, huh? I have a Seekrit Elixir called Pele. :D

[dark-geisha.livejournal.com]

It was pretty funny. As soon as one ran off to get something for me, another one took his place. LOL!

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Ah yes, Aaron, rumors abound about the Seekrit Elixirs of Doom, the most notorious weapons in the Enforcer's arsenal.

Naturally, I cannot confirm or deny these rumors. You'll have to speak with our Press Secretary for further details.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Hey, I can flip you off on webcam now!!!!!

*practices*

(Just kidding. I don't think I've flipped anyone off since junior high.)