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raefinlayI just got my first rejection from F&SF. Which is fine. I scraped the bottom of the barrel with a "didn't grab."
Rejection will be my way of life for some time. I'm sure of that. And I think I take rejection rather well. On the online workshop, my work is regularly ripped to shreds. Most of the time, I completely agree with the ripping. Rejection, criticism, re-writing...all part of the learning process.
So, I've been sitting here, trying to figure out why, for the first time since I started writing, I am bothered. And it's not just a little prick of irritation. I am seriously, profoundly bothered.
It took a while, but I figured it out:
I don't know what is wrong with my story.
And that's terrible. There is no such thing as a perfect story. Something must be amiss. JJA obviously thought so. But if I don't know what it is, how can I grow? How can I get better? I didn't think I was so in love with my own work that I would be blind to its faults, but maybe I'm more arrogant than I thought. And that's really embarassing.
But what if I don't know what's wrong with it because this is the best I'll ever be? What if I'm incapable of seeing beyond this level?
I find that possibility very, very depressing.
Rejection will be my way of life for some time. I'm sure of that. And I think I take rejection rather well. On the online workshop, my work is regularly ripped to shreds. Most of the time, I completely agree with the ripping. Rejection, criticism, re-writing...all part of the learning process.
So, I've been sitting here, trying to figure out why, for the first time since I started writing, I am bothered. And it's not just a little prick of irritation. I am seriously, profoundly bothered.
It took a while, but I figured it out:
I don't know what is wrong with my story.
And that's terrible. There is no such thing as a perfect story. Something must be amiss. JJA obviously thought so. But if I don't know what it is, how can I grow? How can I get better? I didn't think I was so in love with my own work that I would be blind to its faults, but maybe I'm more arrogant than I thought. And that's really embarassing.
But what if I don't know what's wrong with it because this is the best I'll ever be? What if I'm incapable of seeing beyond this level?
I find that possibility very, very depressing.
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no subject
Date: 2004-12-05 12:19 am (UTC)Keep writing. In a year or maybe two, you will absolutely know what was wrong with that story. Unless it sells in the interim.
The *only* thing I've ever sold to the first market that saw it was HAMMERED.
So hang in there and soldier.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-05 12:25 am (UTC)And you know, maybe the story just hasn't found the right editor at the right market at the right time yet. Keep going.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-05 12:30 am (UTC)*soldiers*
It will hit the mail on Monday.
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Date: 2004-12-05 12:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-05 01:01 am (UTC)And send me that short story. Let me read it. Ilona Gordon got the same rejection on a story that was perfectly fine. JJA is a human being. He suffers from all the same diseases as all human beings. Which means that he comes up with a system for determining things that isn't perfect. I'm sure plenty of good stories go by that are worthy of getting published. But the sad fact is probably that he doesn't want to be the first one to take a chance on an unknown author. To do so he has to invest time which he probably doesn't have (in reading all the stories to their conclusion). In short his system isn't perfect. It is like the system most people use when filtering through job candidates. Total luck until you get the required 'experience'.
I SWEAR to you that Ilona's story that got rejected (same note as you) was BETTER than ones I've read in SF&F. Cynthia even read it and loved it. So keep your chin up. You are a GOOD writer...and gosh darn it people like you! :D (isn't that the old Saturday Night Live skit?)
Okay. Keep marching...
And another thing...
Date: 2004-12-05 01:23 am (UTC)Why, why, why, do we think it should be any difference in the writing world? Let me imagine how it all unfolds. JJA opens your sub? He looks at the query letter. You haven't published anything. Already you have one strike against you. He is already inclined to reject you. So he starts reading the story and if you don't wow him in the first paragraph you are done. That is pretty harsh, but that is probably reality.
And then you are left wondering what a guy found wrong with your story EVEN THOUGH he didn't read the whole thing (and again, not because he is a bad guy, but because he has limited time and resources). Maybe there is NOTHING wrong with your story. Maybe if you had the right 'eye-catching things' (a list of published works a mile long and name recognition) he would have passed you up to the next guy and loved it. These mind games will tear you up if you let them...
no subject
Date: 2004-12-05 02:13 am (UTC)Onward and upward!!!!!!
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Date: 2004-12-05 02:23 am (UTC)Part One of The Unmagicked is done at 24K words!! Woowoo! Moving on to chapter 7...
:D
Re: And another thing...
Date: 2004-12-05 02:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-05 02:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-05 03:41 am (UTC)Try to look at it this way: My brother has a lot of great clothes. They look perfect on him. Not so much so on me. Does that mean they're bad clothes? No... just not right for me. Stories and magazines are the same way.
You're too good at this writing thing to let someone's personal opinion on one piece convince you otherwise.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-05 04:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-05 01:25 pm (UTC)I submitted the same story to F&SF and Ideomancer earlier this year. Each time, it was rejected with "didn't hold." I had no idea why it didn't hold the slush readers' attention. Perhaps it was a good enough story but not appropriate for the market; maybe it was too tilted toward the horror genre or not literary enough. More likely, though, the writing was somehow flawed, in their opinion.
Anyway, not knowing continues to frustrate me. If slush readers don't tell me why a story lost them, I won't know not to send them the same sort of s*** in the future. And if I keep submitting pieces that a market is fundamentally not interested in, isn't that a waste of everyone's time?
I know, I know. Editors don't have the time to critique everyone's submissions. But I haven't tried to sell a damn thing since.
I suppose I could read every genre mag out there and familiarize myself with the type of stories the editors like, down to sentence structure, but that's something I don't really have time for. :-(
I'd be willing to give you a "red-line" review of your story, if you want. I could tell you where I'd stop reading as both a reader and an editor, and why. There may be no "red line," and in any event, my opinion isn't worth much. But there it is, if you want it.
One things for certain, though: If you keep writing, you will keep improving. This story is not the best thing you will ever write, submit, or sell.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-05 11:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-06 12:06 am (UTC)I'd be happy to take a look at your fairy story too, though it sounds like you may be withdrawing from reviewee status for a bit! But if you're feeling brave, I'll have a go.
I've considered submitting only to markets that provide feedback for a while (Andromeda, NFG, Realms of Fantasy) just so I get a sense of what editors are looking for and what turns them off. I got the bestest rejection (on a different story) from Andromeda last week...lots of mixed comments that were soooo helpful.
One thing we cannot do is give up. No WAY.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-06 12:07 am (UTC)