True Confessions! I'm a murderer, and stuff.

In light of recent resurfacing news about Obama's unsavory association with William Ayers, a dude who commited acts of domestic terrorism when Obama was eight years old, I got to thinking about this whole "guilt by association" thing. And I realized that I am soooo incredibly guilty. Of all sorts of stuff. If Obama is a terrorist because he served on the same community service board as this dude, or if he's a terrorist because he went to this dude's house, then man-o-man, am I in trouble.

To assuage my guilt and begin the long road to redemption, I will now list all the things I am guilty of, by association:

I am a murderer. (My former pastor)
I am transgender. (A female relative)
I am a child molester. (A male relative)
I am a crack addict. (Close high school friend)
I am an alcoholic. (Too many people to list)
I am a chocolate martini whore. (Ok, that one is really me)

I've been totally palling around with these folks over the years.  Also, what if I've brushed shoulders a time or two with a rapist and didn't know it? What if the guy I met at the gas station used to steal candy bars from 7 Eleven? What if someone I work with is a child pornographer??

Obviously, I am not qualified to run for public office.

What about you? Are you guilty of anything by association?