True Confessions! I'm a murderer, and stuff.

[raefinlay]

In light of recent resurfacing news about Obama's unsavory association with William Ayers, a dude who commited acts of domestic terrorism when Obama was eight years old, I got to thinking about this whole "guilt by association" thing. And I realized that I am soooo incredibly guilty. Of all sorts of stuff. If Obama is a terrorist because he served on the same community service board as this dude, or if he's a terrorist because he went to this dude's house, then man-o-man, am I in trouble.

To assuage my guilt and begin the long road to redemption, I will now list all the things I am guilty of, by association:

I am a murderer. (My former pastor)
I am transgender. (A female relative)
I am a child molester. (A male relative)
I am a crack addict. (Close high school friend)
I am an alcoholic. (Too many people to list)
I am a chocolate martini whore. (Ok, that one is really me)

I've been totally palling around with these folks over the years.  Also, what if I've brushed shoulders a time or two with a rapist and didn't know it? What if the guy I met at the gas station used to steal candy bars from 7 Eleven? What if someone I work with is a child pornographer??

Obviously, I am not qualified to run for public office.

What about you? Are you guilty of anything by association?

Comments

[domynoe.livejournal.com]

Palin got this stuff all started (again) and my only reaction: what an idiot. It's so obviously an attempt to deflect from McCain's total Bush economics, it's not even funny. I seriously can't believe people are 1) buying it, and 2) making a big deal out of it.

As for me, at the very least I'm in league with at least one thief of close relation, an assassin (not that he does it any more, but, um, yea), a toker, and god knows what else. :P

I'm even more amused by the news passed along by CNN today: McCain had to settle his supporters down because they are PISSED OFF that Obama is leading in the polls. I want Obama to win, but I worry about it too. Too many no-brained people who don't approve of a black man, ANY black man, being president. :(

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

An assassin! I'm so telling the McCain campaign. (I had to look up "toker!" Yay, new word!)

And yeah. I've been trying to be cool and calm about it--like Barack!--but they're really starting to scare me.

[silkpajamas.livejournal.com]

I love this post. You make a great point.

I could never run for office due to my own history. But I'm still waiting for those naked pictures of me to surface, so that I can prove that I was once a hottie.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

You were totally a hottie. I remember. :-)

(I haven't seen you in a while, but I bet you still are.)

[domynoe.livejournal.com]

Mind you, I can't actually VERIFY the assassin stuff, but I have no reason to think the dude was lying either.

I think, if Obama makes it, it will be a pretty incredible 4 years...and probably a bit more on the scary side than we're used to. :(

[ccfinlay.livejournal.com]

O crap... I associated with you!

Six degrees of desperation indeed.

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

I'm all those, and add in insanitic, Communist, Right-Wing Nut Job, nymphomaniac, prostitute, exotic dancer, transvestite, bigamist, and a whole lot more.

[hollailama.livejournal.com]

I guess I am a chocolate martini whore, then. I'm very happy to be one, so thanks for associating. :p

[xorphus.livejournal.com]

I'm a suicide.

[ccfinlay.livejournal.com]

I like the crowd you run with.

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

Most of 'em are relatives!

[rosefox]

No, but other people are definitely guilty by association with me!

(Edited to add appropriate userpic.)

Goodness I've been busy.

[tanaise.livejournal.com]

I threw blood on the pentagon.
I violated sanctions against Iraq (same person. He gets around.)
I am, or at least was in the past, a drug dealer (coke and pot)
I'm a drug user (I try not to ask.)
I've been pulled over for speeding more times then you can imagine.
I've cheated on spouses and significant others.
I've refused to pay taxes.
I'm a date rapist (and there's probably some statutory rape in there (I assume from HS years) as well, but i don't know the details).
I wouldn't be surprised if I poach/hunt illegally
I'm a bigot of all sorts--you name it, I'm scared of it.
I was suspended from HS for terrorist behavior
I've committed suicide, and felonious manslaughter, if I remember correctly.
I've had all sorts of relations outside of marriage, undoubtedly including numerous same sex relationships, open marriages, and polyamory.
I've been on welfare to pay for my wedding.
I've abused animals.

I, as in the physical me, have also gone to numerous anti-government protests, since I was very young. So I shudder to think of all the anti-americans I've been in contact with. Draft dodgers, drug users, flag burners, etc. And that's ignoring the fact that I myself have publicly been less than supportive of numerous presidential administrations.

[purdypiedad.livejournal.com]

I guess I'm all the things you are. *shrugs*

I'm also a drug dealer and gang banger.

[wendigomountain.livejournal.com]

If what you say is true, then I'm a Republican!

Does this mean I can be the anti-hero of my own life's story now?

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

The priest who married my husband and me turned out to be one of the Boston pedophile priests. Years after we married, when the priest scandal broke, I remember hearing one of the names and thinking, hey, wait a minute, wasn't that the guy who married us? And checking it out, and sure enough, it was. It's funny, we didn't know him at all, but I did get a bad vibe from him. He died before he could be accused of anything though.

As for terrorists, by two degrees of separation I too know a member of the Weathermen (same terrorist group William Ayers was in), as one of my close friends' brothers was in it, and the boyfriend of one of my former babysitters was rumored to know Fadlallah, a head of Hezbollah. Okay, maybe that's three degrees of separation, actually.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

hah! And I know someone who was assassinated, so--symmetry!

[magicnoire.livejournal.com]

Oh crap! I'm an alcoholic, a gambling addict, and a prostitute many times over!

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

And by association, I sometimes read my Kindle at work. We are such naughty girls!

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Man. I'm glad that's only by association.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Like me! You've ruined me!!

Re: Goodness I've been busy.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Holy cow. I'm totally impressed with your unsavoriness!

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Congratulations.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

You totally can! Yes We CAN!

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Three degrees is not nearly enough, when it comes to terrorism! *questions patriotism* *impugns character*

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Well, from what I can tell, Republicans like prostitutes.

o.o

[magicnoire.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm also a smuggler and a terrorist.

[malkatsheva.livejournal.com]

Uh, I can't beat that one person up there, but here goes:

I'm gay
I'm a child pornographer (ha, beat that)
I'm an Intifada member (Oh, fall 1989, you are so far away)
I'm scizophrenic
I'm a countercultural street musician and hence a total pinko
I'm a drug addict
I'm an abusive spouse
I'm a bad mother/CPS target (several times over)

Yep. I could totally be Vice President!!

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

I KNEW you were unsavory. (That's why I like you.)

[aimeempayne.livejournal.com]

My last name is the same as Barack Obama's grandmother's. I don't have to tell you what that means.

[will-couvillier.livejournal.com]

I worked in a casino for 13 years. I don't think that this page is long enough or that I have the time to write it out.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

That does it. I'm buying a cartful of canned food in preparation for the End of Days.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

I'm telling Sean Hannity.

[will-couvillier.livejournal.com]

Hummm. I think around the third year I worked a guy who made fake ID's....

[crimini.livejournal.com]

Hrm, well, if it's guilt by association, then I'm totally going up the river for:

environmental espionage and terrorism
domestic terrorism (by way of peaceful anti-war demonstrations circa '90s)
domestic terrorism (by way of peaceful anti-war demonstration circa '60s)
drunken and lewd behavior
drug trafficking
drug smuggling
drug manufacturing
Wall Street shenanigans
mafia hits
suicide
2nd degree murder
moonshine making and distribution
fake IDs
porn
prostitution
stealing of music from the man!

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

You're a bad, bad girl.

Re: Goodness I've been busy.

[ccfinlay.livejournal.com]

It's those darn Quakers. God bless 'em.

It means this!

[ccfinlay.livejournal.com]

Re: It means this!

[aimeempayne.livejournal.com]

AWESOME!

[aimeempayne.livejournal.com]

And you tell me
Over and over and over again, my friend
Ah, you don't believe
We're on the Eve of Destruction!

[ccfinlay.livejournal.com]

So you're a campaign contributer and strategist as well as the evening's entertainment... awesome!

[magicnoire.livejournal.com]

We believe in efficiency in my family!

O'Bama - is he Sinn Fein or IRA?

[loismoon.livejournal.com]

I'm a Weatherman
a Rabbi
a pacifist
a member of the PLO
a Catholic Cardinal and archbishop of the Netherlands
a socialist
a communist
an anarchist
a whore monger (I don't know - I just wanted to say that)
a cock fighter
a dog fighter
a drug dealer
a drug grower
an illegal immigrant
a murderer
a gay male prostitute
a redneck
a damn yankee
a Mexican field worker
a person with an FBI file
a Navy spy
a slum lord
a Quaker
a Dennis Kucinich supporter
a beef rancher
a Republican
a Buddhist
a 4-star general
a practicing sadomasochist(now called dominance and submission)
a nun
an accountant for the mafia
I am Yoko Ono

Re: O'Bama - is he Sinn Fein or IRA?

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Awe. Some.

[purdypiedad.livejournal.com]

I'm movin' up in the world.

[kmkibble75.livejournal.com]

Given what's become of my grade school class, I am sure I am guilty of more things than I'd want to know about. And given that I went to a Catholic high school run by an order of friars, there's more than a few child molesters in my 6 degrees of separation.

[java-fiend.livejournal.com]

I had no idea you were such an undesirable and unsavory person. It's good that you admit these things now and seek some help to rehabilitate yourself.

And actually, I think being a crack addict (Marion Berry), alcoholic (George W. Bush), murderer (Gary Condit), child molester (Mark Foley), transgender (Rudy Giuliani... okay, technically just a transvestite... I was reaching on this one)... qualifies you to run for public office. Now get out there on the stump, girl!