The Languages of LURVE Poll!

[raefinlay]

A friend recently discussed "love languages" in her journal under a locked post, and it got me thinking. I read _The Five Love Languages_ years ago and didn't quite buy into it. But now that I'm in a relationship with someone whose communication style so closely mirrors my own, I'm taking a second gander.

The premise of the book is that there are five basic "languages" of love in the world, and relationships often suffer a disconnect when two people have different ways of showing love to each other. The five types of lurve the author identified were: 1. Physical touch, 2. Acts of service, 3. Quality time, 4. Words of affirmation, and 5. Gifts.

So, I'm curious what YOU think your love language is. And I'm curious to see of there are languages the author left out. In other words, TIME FOR A POLL!


[Poll #807359]

Comments

[ccfinlay.livejournal.com]

I don't think I've ever showered anyone with ticky boxes.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Well, it would mean a LOT to me.

[iagor.livejournal.com]

I do not buy the "focused time" thing. I guess as long as we're in the same room, I'm happy. You know, Gordon doesn't have to gaze deeply into my eyes and tell me that he wants to spend quality time with me.

[iagor.livejournal.com]

Make some ticky boxes for her, you fiend.

[stillsostrange.livejournal.com]

Of course, to those strong in the power of cat, focused time may mean yowling at someone and pawing them when they're trying to use to the computer.

[writerswife.livejournal.com]

I'm not familiar with the book, but it seems that a combination of things is also possible. I look for some things from my husband but need/want other reactions from other people. Does the book address this? Is it worth reading? My time is valuable to me during the school year. I guard it like you wouldn't believe, but I'm curious now.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

It's been a long time since I read it, but yes, I think it does address those of us who are combination folks. And it was written for a large audience, so it is not complicated and brilliant so much as clear and concise. In other words, a very quick read. (I read it in less than a day.)

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1881273156/sr=8-1/qid=1156614923/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-2377032-4768146?ie=UTF8

[cpolk.livejournal.com]

I would run screaming from any guy who did that, myself.

[ccfinlay.livejournal.com]

Are these golden ticky boxes?

[ccfinlay.livejournal.com]

*trembles*

[silk-noir.livejournal.com]

Eww.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

I'll see your Eww and raise you an eye-roll!

[stillnotbored.livejournal.com]

You guys beat me to it.

[stillnotbored.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think there is a lot to this. A whole lot as a matter of fact. Giving and receiving physical affection is a big deal for me. For my ex-- no. Grudging tolerance was about all I could ever expect.

You are really making me think here, Ms. Rae. This gets very complicated, very quickly. I have always given people I care for(friends, family, the ex) gifts, but I don't want or expect anything in return. I have always given these same people lots of verbal support and encouragement, which may or may not be the same as compliments, but I don't want to feel that people are gushing over me with what feels like 'false' praise. So maybe some of us are hardwired to give affection in ways we're not wired to receive it?

And in the category of 'other' I checked above-- the feeling that someone spends time with me because they want to, not out of guilt or obligation or necessity. There is a line in a song that goes 'bring me flowers for no reason but you miss me'. That right there is the feeling that makes me feel cared for.

[navicat.livejournal.com]

Love is someone who will sit through a ramble about your characters and actually give a s**t. I also believe listening to ten different pairs of speakers and discussing what makes them different is another form of love :)