Potty Miracles

[raefinlay]

Yes, I believe in miracles.



My mom, my brother and I went backpacking in Yosemite. Had a great time. But we were still more than a day from the trailhead when we ran out of toilet paper. What does an ultra-conservative, right-wing, religious family do in such situations? We pray, of course. Rae's brother: "Dear God, please help us find a way to wipe our butts. Maybe a soft plant or something. Amen."

An hour down the trail, we spied an odd package on a rock just ahead. And lo, an angelic chorus did resound through the pines and a shaft of heavenly light shone upon...a pristinely wrapped roll of toilet paper.

This is a true story.




Today, I took a walk in my orchard. 20 min into my walk, I realized I had not gone potty before I left. 30 min into my walk, I remembered that I had indulged in well over 64 ounces of bottled water during the afternoon. 35 min into my walk, I started looking for squatting opportunities.

And lo, an angelic chorus did resound through the almond tress and a shaft of heavenly light shone upon...a brand new, shiny, CLEAN, porta-potty.

This is also a true story.

Comments

[ccfinlay.livejournal.com]

Do you only get miracles involving bodily functions? Cause if you could expand on that, it might be helpful.

Also, I missed out on the praying the second time. o.O

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Perhaps we should try a little praying...

But the second time, I didn't need to. The beauty of nature already had me in a state of communion with The Almighty. Or something.

[ultharkitty.livejournal.com]

lol :P

[sunflower-sky.livejournal.com]

That is awesome.

God rocks. ;)

~D

[safewrite.livejournal.com]

This could start movement, I tell you!

[frigg.livejournal.com]

*lol*

That's an accommodating god you have!

[jmeadows.livejournal.com]

W.O.W.

[stillnotbored.livejournal.com]

Practical miracles. Gotta love it. ::g::

[writerswife.livejournal.com]

At our house, that means a day without puppy puddles. Glad you found the facilities.

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

Practical miracles are the best miracles.

[hkneale.livejournal.com]

Meanwhile, half an hour later someone's gonna come along and wonder who used their porta-potty. It was perfectly clean when they left it there.

[msisolak.livejournal.com]

LOL!!!

[msisolak.livejournal.com]

The spirit moved her, all right.

And luckily provided means of accomodating that movement.

I think we should watch Rae in case she's trailed by rolls of tp, portapotties, and just your everyday toilets as she wends her way down the street. (All of them pushing and shoving in the effort to make their way to her side when her need arises....)

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

BWAH!!!!!!!

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

A-commode-ating, that is.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

If I have nightmares tonight about animated toilets, I'm blaming you.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Heh. Fortunately (or unfortunately?) I was not the one to christen it. No one will ever know I was there!

[jsgbits.livejournal.com]

Ur, I wonder what god is trying to say?

[sksperry.livejournal.com]

I suspect a trap. If you were a guy, I'd say to scout the area first and make sure George Michael wasn't lurking in the bushes.

[ccfinlay.livejournal.com]

"USE GOOD SANITARY TECHNIQUES! YOU'VE BLOWN THE WHOLE 'DON'T EAT PORK' THING I PUT DOWN TO SPARE YOU FROM TRICHINOSIS, SO THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS WIPE WHEN YOU POOP AND PEE IN A HOLE. MAKES ME REGRET TAKING YOU OUT OF THOSE FIG LEAF DIAPERS, LET ME TELL YOU."

[cathemery.livejournal.com]

Sadly, her miracles don't seem to have come supplied with hand sanitizer.

Maybe next time.

[cathemery.livejournal.com]

Those 64-ounce bottles of water sure make their presence known, don't they? :g:

[kmkibble75.livejournal.com]

I think it is clear that you are, in fact, a superhero.
Your power may in fact be one of the most niche-market oriented in human history, but when needed, it is among the greatest.

I think you should take a poll of possible monikers for your public persona.

[pjthompson]

God does indeed move in mysterious ways.

[hkneale.livejournal.com]

We know.

[careswen.livejournal.com]

I passed a house today with a fine porcelain toilet out at the curb, with a "FREE" sign upon it. I thought, "Rae may have been here."

You know, that might be your third miracle. So you'll be the patron saint of toilets?

[msisolak.livejournal.com]

I cannot help the kind of friends you choose to hang out with....

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Eek, there was probably a hidden Potty-Cam!

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

omg, I'm a superhero! Potty Girl! No, wait... The Flush! No, that's not it either...

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

*Saint Rae*

Someday, my personal toilet will find its way into a monastery and people will come for miles to lay hands upon it.

[kmkibble75.livejournal.com]

Tinklebell? No...
One-der Woman?

[aeriedraconia.livejournal.com]

Would that be praying to the porcelain god, then? :-)

Hi, I found you doing a surf by.

[safewrite.livejournal.com]

Oh, and happy birthday!

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

*waves* Welcome to the zoo!

And I like your icon muchly.

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

Aw, thx, u!